This is my prayer for you

 

Precious girls,

The other day as I rocked Zoie to sleep I found myself praying that she would love to do what is right. For some reason, something about praying for her that way didn't seem quite accurate. Is that really what I want for you both? Part of the reason I struggled with continuing to pray that way is that I grew up wanting to do what is right. And even to this day, I am strongly oriented to do "the right thing" but the reason for this is that in my flesh I have a tendency to treasure my own righteousness too much. I don't want to fail, and I don't want to fall short. In my flesh, my performance means too much to me. Not only I don't want to fail, I can be afraid of failing because I want to admire myself. Sometimes for me "doing" what is right stinks of pride and self reliance.

It is also easy to fall into the mindset that everything about life falls into the categories of right and wrong. But there are many things in life that have nothing to do with right and wrong. Schooling options, pursuing certain work or ministry opportunities or deciding where to live (to name just a few) are areas where we have freedom to weigh in our options and  seek God's wisdom for our specific circumstances. I have at times found myself full of anxious thoughts over decisions that are not necessarily moral--yet when I fall prey to the idol of "needing to make sure I get it right," I don't rest in Christ as I seek his wisdom because I am more worried about failing than pleasing Him. I forget that because I am in Christ I am always accepted before God. So even if I make a decision that is not best, I am still loved and welcomed in my Father's arms.

My little loves, more than praying that you would love to do what is right, my prayer for you is that you would love Someone else's "right-ness." I pray that Christ would redeem you and give you His perfect record and that you would find great joy and rest as you experience His forgiveness and redemption. I pray you would know that even though you are weak and flawed, Christ is strong and perfect, and His strength and His perfection are yours by faith. His righteousness, not ours, is a treasure worth prizing through our lives.

Instead of praying you would love to do the right thing as I rock you to sleep, I want to be like my mom who often rocked me to sleep while singing the truths found in the hymn, Rock of Ages.:

"Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die."

I pray you would rejoice in knowing Christ has dressed you in His righteousness and that shame no longer covers you. I yearn for you to find freedom to glory in your weaknesses, knowing that a rich supply of grace is always in store for you. I do pray that as you treasure the perfect life of Christ, you would grow in holiness. But I pray your holiness grows out of faith as you behold the beauty of our Savior.

How will you know if you love to do what is right for the wrong reasons?
1. If you are uber afraid of failing. Ask yourself, "why am I so afraid of failing? Am I afraid of what others think of me? Am I disturbed by messing up my record?"

2. If it feeds your pride. Look at your heart and consider--- are you comparing yourself with others who haven't chosen the same options that you have? Do you feel superior in any way? Are you more impressed with yourself or with Christ?

Sweet girls, this is my prayer for you--that Jesus' blood and righteousness would be your beauty and treasure throughout your life. Maybe some day you will rock your kids to sleep singing the words of another beautiful hymn: 

"Jesus, thy blood and righteousness
My beauty are, my glorious dress;
'Midst flaming worlds, in these arrayed,
With joy shall I lift up my head.

Bold shall I stand in thy great day;
For who aught to my charge shall lay?
Fully absolved through these I am
From sin and fear, from guilt and shame."

(Words: Nikolaus L. von Zinzendorf, 1739)

"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24-25)

I love you both so much,
Your Mama

 

On contractions, suffering and glory

Recently I have been poignantly reminded of the brokenness of this world. I have read stories that have made my mother’s heart tremble and weep. The story about a mom of four young children who is about to die from cancer (and is finishing so well!). Or the one about a father who had already lost a daughter and then died to brain cancer, leaving his wife a widow with two young sons. That precious sister had already lost a baby girl, and has now also lost her husband!

Trials show up in our lives in so many ways: from the tragedy of losing a child to having to cancel our long awaited (and needed!) vacation due to illness; from the child diagnosed with an autoimmune disease to ongoing chronic pain; from relational problems to distance from our loved ones. What do we do with these reminders that this world is not what it should be?

When I was pregnant with my daughters I experienced Braxton Hicks contractions that were preparing me for labor. During active labor, contractions intensified into sharp pain that left me breathless. Those contractions reminded me of Romans 8: 18-23:

    “ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with
    the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the
    revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly,
    but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from
    its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.
    For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of
    childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the
    firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the
    redemption of our bodies.”

As I read this passage, several things struck me. The idea of eager longing and hope is repeated three times. Paul speaks with the certainty of knowing that glory will be revealed. We are hoping for something that we know is coming and not just that we desire.
Yet, it also struck me that even as we know that there is future glory stored for us, we still groan. All of creation is groaning. The certainty of glory doesn’t take away our suffering but it does impact how we groan. We are groaning knowing that our suffering will end, believing that something wonderful beyond belief is coming: we will inherit God!

Life on this side of Eternity is a rhythm of contractions. All forms of suffering are contractions getting us closer to starting our real life, to being fully adopted as sons of God. Each contraction is preparing us for glory. Each loss, pain, death-a contraction; weakness, temptation, sickness--a contraction; disappointment, unanswered prayer, conflict- a contraction. Waves of contraction after contraction, but because we are His each one is preparing for us a glory we cannot fathom.

When Paul says that we have received the Spirit of adoption as sons it applies to both men and women. In Hebrew society sons were the ones with a right to be heirs. But in the new covenant era, if you are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8: 1), you have received the Spirit of adoption as SON and you are heir of God and fellow heir with Christ. Stop for a moment. Please think about this. You, sister, will inherit everything Christ will inherit from God!

Your life is hidden with Christ in God (Col. 3: 4). Being united with Jesus is being united with his life, death, burial and resurrection. Yet suffering is the current experience of our fellowship with him now. It is part of the birth pains that creation is going through now as it waits for the sons of God to be revealed. 

That is why as I thought about the brokenness of this world in the situations mentioned above, I was reminded the believer is actually being born through suffering. Each form of suffering that the Lord allows into our lives is a contraction that will bring us to life. Even as we are dying in this world, we are being born.

This gives so much hope to our suffering! All suffering we experience in this world has a purpose. It is not wasted. Just as you cannot stop labor when it has started, our suffering is pushing us forward, and it is inevitably, without question or doubt, bringing forth our life.