This is my prayer for you

 

Precious girls,

The other day as I rocked Zoie to sleep I found myself praying that she would love to do what is right. For some reason, something about praying for her that way didn't seem quite accurate. Is that really what I want for you both? Part of the reason I struggled with continuing to pray that way is that I grew up wanting to do what is right. And even to this day, I am strongly oriented to do "the right thing" but the reason for this is that in my flesh I have a tendency to treasure my own righteousness too much. I don't want to fail, and I don't want to fall short. In my flesh, my performance means too much to me. Not only I don't want to fail, I can be afraid of failing because I want to admire myself. Sometimes for me "doing" what is right stinks of pride and self reliance.

It is also easy to fall into the mindset that everything about life falls into the categories of right and wrong. But there are many things in life that have nothing to do with right and wrong. Schooling options, pursuing certain work or ministry opportunities or deciding where to live (to name just a few) are areas where we have freedom to weigh in our options and  seek God's wisdom for our specific circumstances. I have at times found myself full of anxious thoughts over decisions that are not necessarily moral--yet when I fall prey to the idol of "needing to make sure I get it right," I don't rest in Christ as I seek his wisdom because I am more worried about failing than pleasing Him. I forget that because I am in Christ I am always accepted before God. So even if I make a decision that is not best, I am still loved and welcomed in my Father's arms.

My little loves, more than praying that you would love to do what is right, my prayer for you is that you would love Someone else's "right-ness." I pray that Christ would redeem you and give you His perfect record and that you would find great joy and rest as you experience His forgiveness and redemption. I pray you would know that even though you are weak and flawed, Christ is strong and perfect, and His strength and His perfection are yours by faith. His righteousness, not ours, is a treasure worth prizing through our lives.

Instead of praying you would love to do the right thing as I rock you to sleep, I want to be like my mom who often rocked me to sleep while singing the truths found in the hymn, Rock of Ages.:

"Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to Thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die."

I pray you would rejoice in knowing Christ has dressed you in His righteousness and that shame no longer covers you. I yearn for you to find freedom to glory in your weaknesses, knowing that a rich supply of grace is always in store for you. I do pray that as you treasure the perfect life of Christ, you would grow in holiness. But I pray your holiness grows out of faith as you behold the beauty of our Savior.

How will you know if you love to do what is right for the wrong reasons?
1. If you are uber afraid of failing. Ask yourself, "why am I so afraid of failing? Am I afraid of what others think of me? Am I disturbed by messing up my record?"

2. If it feeds your pride. Look at your heart and consider--- are you comparing yourself with others who haven't chosen the same options that you have? Do you feel superior in any way? Are you more impressed with yourself or with Christ?

Sweet girls, this is my prayer for you--that Jesus' blood and righteousness would be your beauty and treasure throughout your life. Maybe some day you will rock your kids to sleep singing the words of another beautiful hymn: 

"Jesus, thy blood and righteousness
My beauty are, my glorious dress;
'Midst flaming worlds, in these arrayed,
With joy shall I lift up my head.

Bold shall I stand in thy great day;
For who aught to my charge shall lay?
Fully absolved through these I am
From sin and fear, from guilt and shame."

(Words: Nikolaus L. von Zinzendorf, 1739)

"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24-25)

I love you both so much,
Your Mama